Thursday, February 10, 2011

Behind the scenes: America's unsung heroes

Every kid in America is inherently (though not always consciously) familiar with an ever-looming presence in their lives. This presence is most often female, and though society has falsely attached the connotation of being just that- a mere presence, a non-factor if you will- she is anything but.

That's right, folks. I'm talking about a centuries-old component of American myth and lore: the lunch lady.

Close your eyes and picture a lunch lady. Her name's probably Doris, right? Or perhaps Mabel. She's a little overweight (but not obese), sporting white orthopedic shoes... scraggly brown bun smushed down against the back of her head in a hairnet, a lipstick-stained cigarette hanging out of the side of her mouth with about 1/4 inch of ash dangling at its end. You're sure that ash is going to drop on the next salisbury steak she slops onto a plate, or maybe the next one... yet that ash diligently clings to that Lucky Strike, defying all laws of physics, and you know it will never drop. Because she's a lunch lady. The ash never drops.

OK, so maybe nowadays she wouldn't be smoking a cigarette in a cafeteria, but you get my point. These fine food service providers should not be taken for granted. They should not be looked down upon as the dregs of the school system. Lunch ladies are the unsung heroes of any educational establishment. Sure, the teachers feed your minds, but the learning process starts in feeding your body, thus having enough caloric energy to properly operate your mind. I once read that you can think 625 thoughts on the caloric value of one Cheerio. That's pretty amazing. So before you go around exalting every teacher for how invaluable their service is to society, you just remember where all the learning REALLY begins.

This post may or may not have to do with the fact that I myself am now a lunch lady. Before you gasp in astonishment at the career path I have chosen, I can assure you it is only temporary (but important nonetheless). As I stand at my station every Tuesday and Thursday unremittingly fueling the future great minds of America, it's hard not to notice how under-appreciated these fine people really are. My new job has given me an immense amount of insight on the world of being a lunch lady, and let me tell ya, everything you know about it is wrong (except for the comfy shoes and occasional hairnet). These strong, determined cafeteria warriors work their big round rumps off to ensure that every student has a proper meal in their stomach, and in a sanitary environment (think about how much you have to clean your kitchen. Now multiply both the size of that kitchen and the amount of food that is prepared in it by 2,000). Yep.

If you are lucky enough to be in a setting where you still see a lunch lady every day, do me a personal favor and thank her for everything she does. If you've already left the wings of education, when you have kids make sure to instill an appreciation in them for their lunch ladies at an early age.

Remember, folks, lunch ladies make the world go 'round.

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