What’s in a slogan? Make America _______ Again

The moment Lester Holt announced that Donald Trump had won Ohio, my heart sank.

Like most in my chosen community of peers and media (my admitted “Echo Chamber”), my first reaction was, “This can’t be happening.” Then came the anger. Then came the fear. I wondered how many others cried in the shower Wednesday morning before work.

A few days passed and the thought of “President-Elect Trump” continued (and continues) to dominate my thoughts. But recently my cerebrum began to overtake my limbic system. Instead of simply reacting to what happened, I started to ponder how and why it happened. I hope to soon graduate onto what to do next.

But for now, the how and the why.

While the reasons are too many and too complex for a single blog post, the marketer in me had to consider this year’s campaign slogans.

A little over a year ago I moved to Pensacola, Florida. The Panhandle. The Bible Belt. It may as well be a continuation of Southern Alabama. In other words, it’s Red Country.

This election cycle was an interesting time to live in Pensacola. Trump held three rallies here. These rallies were covered by the local news. I watched and wondered what could make people want to vote for Donald Trump. The newscasters asked.

After over a year of news coverage, the two most overwhelmingly popular answers to the question “Why do you support Donald Trump?” were:

1.     Because Hillary’s a crook

2.     Because he’s going to Make America Great Again

Almost none gave an answer regarding policy or platform. The responses were mostly anti-Hillary or a regurgitation of that one vague sentence stitched on so many red hats.

So, what’s in a campaign slogan?

“I’m With Her” was about just that: Her. It was not about the voter. It did not resonate with anyone other than her stalwarts. It lacked the central themes that have been successful in every winning presidential campaign slogan since 1992 (and many before it): Hope and Change.

1992, Bill Clinton: "It's Time to Change America"
1996, Bill Clinton: "Building a Bridge to the Twenty-First Century" 
2000, George W. Bush: “Reformer with Results”
2004, George W. Bush: “A Safer World and a More Hopeful America"
2008, Barack Obama: "Change We Can Believe In” ; “Hope”
2012, Barack Obama: "Forward"

Trump’s slogan, “Make America Great Again”, was the first since Ronald Reagan’s all-too-similar 1980 “Let’s Make America Great Again” to offer not progressive hope, but backward change. It tapped into the frustration of many Americans between the coasts. It strategically used an amorphous word (“Great”) that was interchangeable with whatever synonym an individual wanted it to be. It allowed for personalization—what does “Great” mean to you? That word inspired hope in every embittered individual to make it whatever they wanted it to mean for their country.

And there’s arguably an even more operative word in his slogan: “Again”.

The difference between the 1992-2012 slogans and Trump’s is that the formers looked forward to the progress and advancement of the nation, while Trump’s distinctly tapped into one of the most powerful human emotions: nostalgia. Trump promised to Make America _______ Again. He promised to bring back whatever so many Americans held dear and perceived to have lost.

For those afraid of America’s evolving ethnic and racial demography, it meant Make America White Again.

For those who feel threatened by radical Islam and terrorism, it meant Make America Christian Again.

For those who haven’t felt the economic recovery from the Great Recession, it meant Make America Work Again.

For those afraid they would soon have to give up their guns, it meant Make America Armed Again.

For those who saw their health insurance premiums triple under a forced centralized health insurance system, it meant Make America Self-Determining Again.

For those threatened by marriage equality and the normalization of LGBTQ, it meant Make America Straight Again.

For those whose traditional energy and manufacturing Rust Belt jobs are disappearing, it meant Make America Need My Trade Again.

For those uncomfortable by the continuing empowerment of women and jurisdiction over their own bodies, it meant Make America Misogynistic Again.

Donald Trump sold Americans on the nostalgia of “the good ol’ days.” He tapped into the large part of America—the 2,500 miles or so between coasts—that is scared of social progress and equality, the people who see their worlds disappearing.

Simultaneously living digitally/long-distance in my past liberal world and in Pensacola provided a stark contrast between two very different Americas—the one my mostly progressive friends and family in the Bay Area, LA and Boston perceive, and the one that the Panhandle and the rest of the nation perceive.

As I scroll through my newsfeeds and have conversations with my friends and family on the coasts, I see a subset of the American population in disbelief and disgust that Donald Trump could be elected as Commander-in-Chief of this country. I see an army angry and ready to influence change, in two years and then four.

To this subset, I encourage you to spend some time in Middle America, in Red States. Talk to Trump supporters. Familiarize yourself with their frustrations, their grievances. Ask for their point of view, and don’t push yours onto them. If we want any chance in 2018 and 2020, we need to stop seeing most of the U.S. as “Flyover States” and start considering how they fit into a progressive America, too. Solutions start with understanding. Like it or not, it's their reality. And it's the reality of enough of the nation to elect Donald J. Trump.

Everybody Poops.

Disclaimer: If you consider bathroom humor to be crude, unfunny and/or inappropriate, stop reading now. Also, you should probably unfriend me.

If you (the reader) and I have had even of modicum of depth to our relationship, you know that I'm not one to shy away from talking about poop. My poop, your poop, dog poop, the unflushed poop in the locker room toilet... the list goes on. It's a major part of my day and yours too, even if you don't want to admit it. 

Pooping is an essential part of life that for reasons beyond my comprehension has been denounced as inappropriate for civil conversation. But it's one of the few things every single person on the planet has in common (except maybe the anusless contributing writers at The New Yorker), and that's pretty darn special. Still not convinced? What if I told you there's an immortal epic in the English Literary Canon that proves it so? You can find it in most major bookstores; it's called Everybody Poops by literary genius Taro Gomi.

I'd like to take a moment write about some of the more notable poops that make an appearance in all of our lives from time to time:

The Phantom Poop

There you are, sitting on the toilet waiting in anxious anticipation for your bowels to move, and eureka--mission accomplished. But then you go to wipe and, inexplicably, the paper's as snow-white as a cartoon baby lamb. It cannot be so. You stand up to visually admire your hard-fought-for poop in all its glory but lo and behold, there's no trace of even a fecal molecule in the toilet. Perfect anus-to-toilet hole positioning has made this one a direct shot to depths unknown. This, my friends, is The Phantom Poop. Classified in the "unsatisfying" genus, The Phantom Poop robs from you any sense of achievement and validation defecation usually brings. It leaves you unsettled. You know you pooped. You felt the evacuation. Yet, nothing. It makes you question your sanity.

Hidden Bonus: After a true Phantom Poop, you don't have to flush! At least you can reap satisfaction from saving water, you hippie conservationist, you.

The Defies the Laws of Physics Poop

This one inspires utter awe and amazement. Most of us took geometry in high school, and all of us learned about shapes in earlier grades. We all know our rectums are more or less cylindrical, which lead in a straight line to a circular anus before their contents see daylight. Therefore, most of our poops are formed as straight lines. But sometimes, in the aftermath, we look down into the porcelain throne and gasp when we see an unnatural, though impressive, shape. Introducing: The Defies the Laws of Physics Poop. These are your right-angle poops, your corkscrew poops, your (this truly happened to me the week before the 2011 Cal Soccer Alumni Game) BIG C poop. 'Twas a perfect C. (Go bears). These are the poops you take photos of and send to your friends, the ones you can't wait to brag about.

The Anaconda Poop

Also known as the "How Did THAT Come Out of Me Poop," this one brings into question the sheer length and girth of your innards. This is the poop you imagine only comes out of 6'6, 345 lb Russian men. It can take various forms, from disappearing God-knows-how-far down the hole and reaching up to breach the water, to encircling the entire circumference of the bowl at least once--like a brown snake ready to strike. The Anaconda Poop is awe-inspiring in its own rite, as you're surprised every time that your waste pipes can contain that much matter without causing you discomfort, let alone produce something of that size that can externally hold its shape postpoopartum (see what I did there?).

The Lincoln Logs Poop

A first cousin of The Anaconda Poop, The Lincoln Logs Poop is also impressive in terms of size, but its real noteworthiness is derived from its manufacturing. Instead of keeping its length in tact, this poop somehow knows at what points to pinch itself off and restart in exact position to its forebears. The Lincoln Logs Poop is an architectural masterpiece, solely orchestrated by a seemingly unintelligent anus, laying down the pinched parts like a master lumberjack lining up cut logs to build a beautiful cabin. 

The Part One Poop

Another poop in the "unsatisfying" genus, this little rascal leaves you wanting--nay, needing--more. After you expel The Part One Poop, you know that's not the end of it. The fat lady hath not sung and you feel incomplete. You know in your heart of hearts there's more in there--The Part Two Poop and beyond. Its uncertain nature leaves you feeling vulnerable and insecure. How can you go on with your day with the uneasy feeling of that incomplete poop in the later stages of your intestines, poised to release at any spontaneous moment (or even worse, remain there). The Part One Poop is most unpleasant.

The Sheer Perfection Poop

This is the poop that can make your entire day, and sometimes week. The Sheer Perfection Poop happens when a heavenly choir of angels descends from the sky to your bathroom, occupies your intestines and ever-so-sweetly sings an impeccable G chord to coax a flawless fecal specimen into your toilet. We all dream of such a poop, and wish it would grace us with its presence less sporadically. The Sheer Perfection Poop is like the orgasm of the pooping world, releasing endorphin-y shivers throughout your entire body and making you feel like you have the power to conquer the universe. One does not quickly forget the experience of The Sheer Perfection Poop, as its aura lingers around you the entire day, like a blessed halo spreading its joy into everything you do and everyone you interact with. Nothing can spoil a day that begins with The Sheer Perfection Poop.


Got any poops you'd like to share? I'd love to hear about them!

A Long December

"A long December and there's reason to believe, maybe this year will be better than the last." -Counting Crows

A Long December came on my ever-shuffling iPod as I drove away from a friend's house this afternoon, befittingly because I had just told her that writing more blog posts was one of my New Year's Intentions. Even more appropriate because I had already decided what I was going to write about: Hope and New Year's Intentions.

Five years ago, I wrote this: You Say You Want a ReSolution?

With all the learned lessons, shifted mindsets and reality checks I've undergone in the last five years, my outlook on this subject has taken a complete 180. Well, maybe more like a 170; I did write five years ago that I'm all for anyone trying to better themselves, any time of year. And I still believe that.

I suppose five years ago life was easier and less complicated. I was a grad student in Boston, whose life until that point had been very happy-go-lucky, and whose remaining years were full of nothing but promise. I hadn't developed a sense of empathy yet, and that blinded me to a lot of ways people felt treated by the world. I hadn't realized that as you get older, and life starts knocking you around a bit, sometimes you need a finite marker to hit a reset button and hope for something better. And a new year seems like a good time to do just that.

Without going into too much detail, 2015 was the worst year of my life until this point (still not saying much, I've had a very charmed life). But the last year was extremely trying nonetheless; I was shaken to my core. So, for the first time in my 27 years, I was really looking forward to the year being over, and the promise of 2016 for a clean slate. I made my New Year's Intentions and I had hope.

You've probably noticed by this point that I don't use the words "resolution" or "resolutions", I call them New Year's "Intentions." I believe the word "resolution" is too, well, resolute. It suggests that you must resolve to do this thing, and if you mess up even once, you've failed. And often times when you believe you've failed at something, you give it up; it becomes a lost cause. 

"Intention" takes that pressure off. It doesn't carry the same connotation of finality. You can fail over and over again at an intention, and it will remain just that: something you intend to do. So, I don't have New Year's Resolutions, I have New Year's Intentions. And even if I fail over and over at them throughout the year, I will still intend to accomplish them until December 31.

A new year brings hope, and in 2015 I personally learned how powerful hope is. Hope is the only thing that gets many out of bed in the morning, the only thing that convinces those who are suffering to hold on for another hour, another day, another month... It will get better. At its core, that's what hope is: The belief that it will get better. Even the most stalwart atheist can't argue with 1 Corinthians 13:13, naming the most powerful trinity of forces in a human being: Faith, Hope and Love. 

The greatest may be Love, but Faith and Hope are not far behind.

Here's to hoping in 2016.